Oh ho the Mistletoe
by Silently Broken
Summary: OMG! I actually wrote a humor fic! It's christmas and seto has a party! Someone has mistletoe and many favorite pairings are kissing and HATEING it! NONYAOI CAUSE IT'S A PARODY OF ALL THOSE FIC WHERE THEY KISS AND FALL IN LOVE!
1. chapter 1

Oh ho the Mistletoe 

By Silently Broken

OMG! Is it possible? I just wrote a humor fic! GO ME! Woot!

This is kinda a parody of all the yaoi fics for Christmas. It don't really like them or Yoai so I decided to write one that did not turn into yaoi! That's Right Folks! NONYAOI CHIRSTMAS FIC!

Malik – hikari

Marik – yami

Bakura- yami

Ryou – hikari

Jounouchi – Joey

- mind link

-

Malik's pov

It was Christmas and with that comes MISTLETOE! The wonderful plant parasite that lives off trees and during Christmas, makes people KISS! Oooh wonderful payback for during that year!

This was what was going around in Malik's head throughout the holiday season. Seto had invited everyone over for a Christmas party, courtesy of Mokuba. Everyone knew Seto couldn't resist his puppy dog eyes. It was payback time Mistletoe style! Think of all the options! He could make people kiss and take photos for blackmail! Now all he needed was a partner in this….

Marik Pov

Hahaha! Bwahaha! Muwahaha cough cough haha….. Oh well I need to practice my evil laugh, have to ask bakura how he does it without getting into a fit of coughing…. Anyway, my light has a devilish idea! I love it we get this _mistletoe_ and blackmail them!! HAHAHAHA!

3 person pov

It was Christmas and seto had invited everyone for a Christmas party. Most people came, but some didn't come since they had wanted to spend Christmas with their families. These included Tristan, Tea, Mai, and Serenity. The ones who were present were Duke, Jounouchi Yugi, Yami, Marik, Malik, Rishid, Isis, Bakura, Ryou and of course, Seto and Mokuba. Unknowingly, Seto had let madness himself enter the house. That's right. Malik, Marik and Mistletoe. Surprisingly no one questioned why Marik and Malik had a small plant stung to the top of their sennen rod. Perhaps it was the due to the fact that there were 4 Egyptians, other than Malik and Marik, and didn't know a thing about the dreaded Mistletoe. Or perhaps that one of the hosts didn't know a thing about holiday spirits. It didn't change the fact that tonight, everyone's ego except Isis, was going to plummet down to next to nothing.

When everyone arrived, Mokuba was his own peppy stuff plus the 50 grams of sugary stuff that he had just consumed. In other words, total hyperness.

"HIHIHIHIHHIHIIII! takes a deep breath HIHIHIHI!" says Mokuba. "Hi" says the guests. "Big brother!" yells mokuba "there're here!!" seto walks in "Hi merry Chistmas don't make a mess or enjoy yoursesves" he mutters. "Come on in!" yells mokuba who was really hyper from excitement as well as sugar.

After that the party fell into full swing. That was until….

Malik decided that they had enough time to enjoy themselves. He sought out Malik and prepared the listings of people to black mail. It read as follows:

Pharaoh x tomb robber

High priest x mutt

Tomb robber's light x tomb robber

Pharaoh's light x Pharaoh

High Priest x Pharoah

Slowly and surely they crept up to the first on the list.

"Pharaoh!" cried Malik. "Tomb robber's up to no good!" "I see it as duty to stop the savage!" Yami replied regally and strolled up to the unsuspecting white haired boy.

With bakura, things were a bit different. He had agreed to stand there because Marik had promised him a picture to black mail the Pharaoh with. Unable to pass up such a great opportunity, he waited, under the stairway for him to return. Quite stupid on his part, actually.

Yami strolled up to Baura and said "what is it you have done now tomb robber?!" Now bakura was confused. What had he done? Nothing so far. And this is what he said. With an insult. Yami was about to reply when a Malik's voice above them said "Oi! You to! Look up!" When they looked up they saw a very particular plant! "Yami you have to kiss bakura!" yelled yugi delighted at the embarrassment of the former pharaoh. Yami blushed deep red and Bakura did as well when his meddlesome light spoke in his head.

/you have to bakura /

/never/

/its tradition

/screw tradition/

/if you don't, I'll reveal to the whole room that…/

/fine fine! You win!/

Bakura could feel Ryou smirking very un-ryou like in the link

Looking at Yami, he could tell his light did the exact same thing.

Squeezing his eyes shut he waited for yami to plant a small kiss on this lips. Then they both rushed upstairs and you could hear all of the kaibas' mouthwath, toothpaste, toothbrushes, etc. being consumed. They would really need to get some more dental hygiene supplies after this night, which was only just beginning…..

--

To Be Continued..

How did you like it? Review and tell me or else I won't update 'cause I don't want to post a fic no one likes. If you have any more people to kiss let me know! I'm always open for suggestions! However, I won't take any yaoi. So don't even bother asking.

Please review and happy reading! I'll post as soon as I can!


	2. chapter 2

Oh ho the Mistletoe 

By Silently Broken

Malik – hikari

Marik – yami

Bakura- yami

Ryou – hikari

Jounouchi – Joey

- mind link

I'm so sorry I haven't been updating! I had a major case of writers block and I wasn't feeling in a humorous mood. But, now I'm back! I decided that the reviews would probably be mad at me, since some authors who only wrote one chapter havn't updated for a really long time and I am **_EXTREAMLY UNHAPPY WITH THEM!!_** Thus, I don't want to be like them, so here is the next chapter!

OMG! Did I forget the disclaimer on the last chapter????!?!?! Here it is then!

Disclaimer: Don't own, but I think you would have realized that already.

Warning: might be a little character bashing here and future chapters.

Remember, this is non yaoi! D

-

Malik's pov

Mwahahaah!! That was hilarious! HAhAHA! Those two enemies kissing! HAHAAHAHAH-umph Oww that hurt.

3rd person pov

After that fiasco, Malik was laughing evilly on a swiveling chair with his list while Marik was somewhere with his duplicate list. Correction, actually he was on the floor with his list rubbing his rear. Looking down at his list, Malik came up with more ideas.

Pharaoh x tomb robber

High priest x mutt

Tomb robber's light x tomb robber

Pharaoh's light x Pharaoh

High Priest x Pharoah

Mutt x Dice Boy

Isis x mutt

Unknown to him, Marik hat his own ideas.

Pharaoh x tomb robber

High priest x mutt

Tomb robber's light x tomb robber

Pharaoh's light x Pharaoh

High Priest x Pharoah

Mutt x Dice Boy

Isis x mutt

Tomb Robber's Light x Tomb Keeper D

And an evil smile.

- -

Malik and Marik grinned to each other. It was time for number two on their list. Operation High priest and mutt.

Ginning manically, they started toward their destinations.

--

"Jonouchi! The food is almost gone! Someone's going to eat the rest! ", cried Malik

"Not if I can help it" said Jou ginning.

Malik watched Jou run up to the buffet and hid behind the sofa grinning evilly all the while.

-

Marik sneakily took one of Seto's Blue Eyes White Dragons, courtesy to Bakura's thieving lessons. "Oh Seto!", he taunted. Seto turned and stopped at what he saw. Fire blazed in his sapphire eyes when Marik pretended to rip it apart. "Istar..", he warned. "Come and get it then!", taunted Marik as he pranced to the buffet. He ran over to the table and placed it on the red and green tablecloth. Gently, Seto picked up his card and didn't notice Jou moving down the line. The result: they landed in an uncharacteristic heap.

crash!

"Mutt!"

"Kaiba!"

(Together) "AHHH!" As bright flashed filled the room. Malik had brought his camera for blackmail and was snapping numerous pictures of the two enemies together in a rumpled pile.

"Oh, and you two", Malik said sweetly, "should look up before making a dog pile, though I don't understand why Kaiba would volunteer to do such infuriating things. But the mutt, I would understand."

They looked up, and turned red and paled extremely quickly.

"No, No, I won't do, do that!", and Seto quickly scooted out of the room, however Mokuba dragged him back, with a surprisingly evil mischievous smile. "Mokba! Let go!", yelled Seto. "Sorry Seto" replied Mokuba, "But you have to!"

Yugi was having the same probables with Jou. "Yugi, don't!" "Jou you have to!"

Then, Mokuba and yugi used dreaded, irresistible PUPPY – DOG EYES!

Grudgingly Seto and Jou returned to the center of the room.

"Oh yes, this is going to be good", whispered Malik to Marik.

"Yea!", he replied.

Seto and Jou glaring loathingly at each other, pressed their lips together or a second, then stepped back quickly. Seto ran upstairs in full speed to his bathroom. Jou also ran to the nearest bathroom. A cheetah probably couldn't run any faster.

Malik and Marik high – fived each other and planned for their next victim.

- -

Ugg, Major writer's block. I also haven't had a lot of experience with humor. Please forgive me if this doesn't turn out very good. TT


End file.
